XIANG+XIN hitorkiri battousai

the past week had been a relatively tough week.. lots of things to study in camp, coz of the stupid Special Skill Diving Course.. 2 tests.. forced to write reflections every night by our training officer.. thinking whether to retake 'A' levels or not.. learning to play mahjong.. haha

o well.. i guess i've made up my mind to retake 'A's.. although a lil pricey, but i believe dat i haf juz enuf willpower to make it.. any extra help is vry much appreciated..

today, i had this weird feeling.. i felt that my life is juz not worthwhile.. no objectives, no goals, no meaning.. full of uncertainties which i do not like at all.. juz felt like running away from everything..

then, an edited version of an extract from the anime Vandread came to me:
'Worries, doubts, jealousy'; I was only thinking about myself, that's why I never cared about what the people around me were thinking. It didn't matter to me. But now I know, they're on my mind. Now when I think of them, I could never think about running away. I really feel that I want to be stronger for all of them. I won't run away. Even if I'm like this, there are people out there that believe in me. So it's for them, I will continue to fight on. And this is the proof that I'm alive!

ok, this sounds a lil too extreme.. but i can say that most of this is true.. at least this made me felt a lil stronger.. up to u peeps out there to interpret this extract..

if u want more of these kind of 'life lessons', i suggest u watch this anime.. Vandread